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  • Dr. Shari-ann James

Letting go...

August 9th was the first day of school. After a year and a half of being home as a result of Covid-19 and distance learning, this day was met with a lot of emotions. While distance learning led to balancing many roles and responsibilities, it did afford me the opportunity to spend more time with my kids. Time I did not realize would be so precious. I tried to be mindful and present, and not let my frustrations last too long. For as tumultuous as that period of time was (and still is), I will forever be thankful for the opportunity to be tethered to them once again.

As they returned to in-person school, a modifier I never thought would become part of my vocabulary, I was brought back to a time when we first dropped off our babies at daycare, 6 months old. I felt that umbilical cord truly being cut for the first time. They were out there in the world, no longer fully tethered to me. With my first child, barely two hours had passed when I rushed back to the daycare to pick her up. That first day was a test for her, and for me. It was difficult, and based on the feedback from her caretakers, more for me than her. Fast-forward to today, at ages 9 and 7, and that familiar feeling came flooding back. That vulnerability, that sense of your most precious thing in life being out of your watchful eye and protection. As is the case with many parents, I am scared. I wonder if I am making the right decisions. Letting go is hard, but I guess there is nothing ever easy about your heart beating outside your chest.

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